I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
