White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
