Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
