she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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