I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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