Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
