I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
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Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
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I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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