They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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