I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
