Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
