in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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