Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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