Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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