In the future we'll all be gay
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
