My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
