even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
