11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The police scanner is talking about you again....
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Randomize
