At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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