At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I cockslap morals
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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