how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
