I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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