You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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