I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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