her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
