You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I think my vagina is haunted
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
