i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
