Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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