ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
