He is an equal opportunity slut.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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