Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.