dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?