i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
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He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
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He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.