I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???