Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
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I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
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The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?