what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.