So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE