There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision