I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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