You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
