A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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