my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
