dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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