fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
