I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
