Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
