nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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