i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
