I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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