Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
