Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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