is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
