I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize