Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
