every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
