who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
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He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
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Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize