Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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