Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
