YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
