You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Houston, we have a blender
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
