Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
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i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
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He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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