Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
time to smoke my breakfast
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
