Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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