Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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