so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
