Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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