Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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